Sometimes after a bad breakup, we go about telling the world how terrible and toxic our partner was, painting them wrong and proving how you’re the just party, now if you have repeated this cycle 3 or more times, it is quite possible you may be the toxic partner. Here are 3 important signs that lets you know you are the toxic partner:
- You Are Manipulative
I know your heart must be beating pretty fast because you know this is true. Your conscience is already hinting to you that this is your sub and yes your conscience is damn right. I have met manipulative people not partners though and I can assure you they are the most stressful people to be in a relationship with. They can be extremely exhausting and calculative. How can you be with someone who you’ve got to cross check your every word in fear of it being twisted or misinterpreted? Or who has a negative opinion or thought on everything? Who guilt trips you at every little turn and makes you feel you’re not doing enough? If you are this person you need to stop and check yourself out. No one wants to be with a manipulative person, they may put up with you for a while but trust me they are eventually going to tire of you, move on and never look back. If you cherish that person in your life, you need to deliberately admit you are manipulative, work on yourself and seek help and even if the person still chooses to leave at least you have gained more points for yourself.
- You Are Insecure
Had a previous relationship that turned sour? Oh well, shit happens! It is not your current partner’s fault that it happened to you. They are innocent of that past experience, so then why do you try to shove it down their throats like it’s their fault? Everyone has had bad experiences ranging from family to relationships to work to school to social life in general, now if we all start projecting our fears and insecurities to the people around us, the world will be an unhealthy place to live in. If every time your partner smiles at their phone you get triggered, you’re insecure. If they come home late and explain to you what delayed them and you still do not believe you’re insecure. If every time there’s an argument, you bring up past issues or you use things they told you in confidence against them? You’re insecure. The list is endless, that stomp in your heart when you see them in a picture with someone of the opposite sex not you? That’s part of it too. Identifying this trait and actively working on it will help you in the long run.
- You Are A Liar
Yep! You read that right. Now don’t tell me every one lies so this doesn’t count, nope, you are wrong. Why should you be with someone you can’t have open, honest discussions with? Why are you in a relationship with someone you can’t say it as it is? Why do you have to sugar coat your words? Why must every question end up with you telling half truths? Personally, I can’t stand liars, because what is the essence of being with you when I’m not sure your red is actually red, what then are we doing? Lies break trust and this leads to distrust. Any relationship without trust is eventually going to crash and if it doesn’t, then you both are living a huge lie. Honesty is a virtue and a beautiful one at that. It brings peace of mind knowing that what your partner is telling you is actually the truth. You can always vouch for a honest partner but you can’t when you know your partner’s words aren’t always the truth. If you have been called out on your lying trait, today is a good day to quit.