In the world that we live, and especially in Nigeria, emotional intelligence—also EQ—is a must have.  It is no new thing to hear of celebrities disgracing themselves and losing opportunities because they couldn’t put their emotions under control.

“A man without self-control is like a city without walls”—Prov. 25:28 [paraphrased]. Like my dad says, anything can come in, and anything can go out. This can prove to be a problem for many; they do not know which words to keep, and which ones to say aloud, and how to express criticism in a way that expresses understanding and respect.

This is a subject that entrepreneurs and, basically, most businesspersons take time (and money) to learn. Whoever controls your emotions controls you. These character traits will help you identify an emotionally intelligent person—and become one yourself!

1. They are Curious.

Emotionally intelligent people are passionately curious about life. They strive to learn more about people, topics and generally anything that can improve their lives. Because of this, they acquire an impressive knowledge that helps them analyse and understand people and situations.

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If you’ve been reading my posts, you’d notice that I’ve been repeating this particular piece of information. Well, I’m merely emphasizing that very very few things in life give the experience that books do give.

2. They Don’t Limit Their Joy.

Many people would be surprised to know that they derive their joy from other people’s opinions and views. In other words, receiving any form of criticism drowns their mental and emotional energy.

 Emotional intelligent people know very well that the actions and words of others don’t define them. As long as they know they’re on track, in respect of their purpose, they could care less about criticism. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt,

“I cannot afford as a self-respecting individual to refuse to do a thing merely because it will make me disliked, or bring a storm of criticism upon my head.”

3. They Know How to Express Themselves.

Emotional Intelligent people have a well-developed vocabulary for stating clearly what and how they feel. Assumption is the least form of knowledge, and so, rather than assuming the other person understands, they like to “clear the air” and express their views on the matter.

It has been observed that the most common lie is “I’m fine.” Rather than responding to the question “How are you doing?” like that, they prefer to use words like “optimistic” and “motivated” to describe their feelings.

They understand that unlabelled emotions are the cause of unpleasant actions and decisions.

4. Good Judge of Character.

Emotional Intelligent people have a high self and social awareness. They are emphatic, and have the ability to analyse and see through the hidden intentions of people.

This is one of the qualities of a good businessperson. The stock market is run on emotions. People “feel” like a currency will go up; they buy more. If they feel uncertain, they withdraw their investments, and inevitable, the price goes down as well. “Remove the grids and lines, and all you have are emotions.”

5. Give and Expect Nothing.

Emotional intelligent people know how to give without expecting anything in return. It is almost like a second nature to be kind, even when they know the recipient cannot return the favour. By doing this, they leave a powerful impression, helping them to build strong and lasting relationships.

They have a strong desire, not only to succeed, but also to help others become successful.

None of these traits were brought from heaven. Neither can they be built in a day. It takes the Holy Spirit, as well as conscious effort to build these character traits. Start working on yourself today!

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