Psychological Manipulation: The Subtle Art of Gaslighting

Coming across a gaslighter especially as a partner is a disastrous way to screw up your mind, peace and emotions. 

Continuously being gaslighted can haul you from being self-confident, decisive, elated, secure, ambitious, peaceful, and coordinated; to being indecisive, sad, insecure, unorganised, restless, confused and emotionally drained.

Despite its detrimental effects, gaslighting is a fanciful tool in the hands of many. Gaslighting is normally used to hurt people in a way that the abuse is oblivious to the victims. 

What is Gaslighting

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Gaslighting is an aspect of emotional abuse that is done subtly. It involves a psychological manipulation that toys with your emotions and gets you into second-guessing your comprehension of reality, perceptions and memory.

To aptly describe it, gaslighting entails emotionally abusing a person and pretending to be unaware of your actions.

The effects of gaslighting are enormous, especially as it deeply pierce the confidence and emotions of victims. Unfortunately, victims of gaslighting hardly recognise that they are being gaslighted. 

Frankly, victims shouldn’t be blamed for their shortsightedness as it is quite tricky to spot the subtle art of gaslighting. 

Who is A Gaslighter

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A gaslighter is a person that emotionally abuses others in a manner that is not obvious. Gaslighters get you to doubt yourself and shrink your confidence.

Unlike other abusers, gaslighters hide their hands when they hurt you. They hurt you and act unaware. They set the fire to consume you and are the first to attempt to save you when you are ablaze. 

A gaslighter is a fierce manipulator. Such a person pushes the blame on you even when you are faultless. When caught in the wrong, a gaslighter can vehemently deny what you saw and make you feel you had an illusion or an episode of psychosis. 

Gaslighters often use phrases such as; 

You were simply imagining things.

It is your head playing mind games with you.

You are just being insecure.

You are stressed, that is why you are imagining things.

I don’t remember what you are talking about.

A gaslighter pokes you deeply and turns around to play innocent when you react. Thereby, making you look crazy and toxic while they appear calm and innocent. They prey on you, then with a straight face, they play the victim.

Gaslighters would rather play dumb than have an honest conversation with you over an issue that needs to be addressed. And when they choose to talk about an issue they twist the facts and make you feel guilty.

Where Can You Encounter Gaslighters?

You can encounter gaslighters anywhere human relations are formed. Such as;

A romantic relationship

Workplace

Family

Friends

Groups

Church

School…

Signs That You Are With A Gaslighter

Sporting a gaslighter is not a one-way street, and there is no mathematical formula to figure it out. However, if you look closely and keep an open mind you will spot a gaslighter after an encounter.

Here are some signs of a gaslighter.

A narcissist is a chronic gaslighter.  

They prey on empaths.

A gaslighter escapes from addressing issues so you are forced to bottle up your emotions until you explode, and become viewed as the toxic one.

They intentionally trigger their victim and pretend they are simply acting up without any reason.

Toxic amnesia is a strong trait of a gaslighter. They claim to forget a hurtful act they committed towards you. Making it look like you are merely formulating stories. Therefore, you find yourself questioning your sanity.

Gaslighters will attempt to discredit your comprehension of reality and memory.

A gaslighter affects your mind negatively and makes you feel depressed.

They make you doubt yourself and therefore you are unable to express how you feel about situations. 

Gaslighters exert control over you. Today they are for you and tomorrow they flip the switch and act cold towards you. Making you emotionally unstable.

They push you to the edge but act like the good guy in public.

All strong gaslighters are incredible manipulators. They can guilt trip you into apologising though you were the one wronged.

Finally, people can consciously or unconsciously act as gaslighters. However, once you notice a pattern, be very cautious and avoid getting manipulated.

Related: Five Traits of a Narcissist

Also Read: Is Being Diagnosed with Schizophrenia