We all have that friend with whom we’ve lost touch—and would have loved to reconnect. This lockdown is definitely an excuse for you to catch up with anyone you want. If you don’t have the person’s contact, you should have his, or her, first and last name—don’t hesitate to search on Facebook.
Note that friendship is the foundation of influence—and the single most important ingredient of success is knowing how to get along with people.
Besides, you need all the help you can get if you’re going to survive this grand adventure (Ha-ha—just kidding). Stick with me as we explore the how of reconnecting.
Know The Why.
By the “Why”, I mean your reasons. First, you have to consider the reason you want to reconnect. Are you still interested? Did you make a mistake, and want to get back together? Know what your motives are. Wanting to reconnect just because of what you could get will not end well—for you, or the person. So, make sure you have the right intentions; this will help you in setting boundaries for the relationship.
Also, consider what made you lose the relationship in the first place. Sometimes, it is difficult to pinpoint the exact reason: Did you two grow apart? Was it because of physical distance? Knowing this will help you determine the type of expressions, and choice of words, so they can better see your point of view.
Take The Initiative.
How many times have you blamed yourself for not doing something you felt strongly to do? Fear is real, and the only way we can overcome fear is facing it—in other words, doing that thing which you fear. Research has even proven that doing that which you fear makes you happier and gives you fulfilment—99.9 percent of the time.
In this case, taking the initiative means you have to stop postponing, and text them right away. You could say something like,
“I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch. What’s new?” Letting them know that you still value the relationship—and you’re interested in coming back.
“OMG! Do you remember that time we…” or “I was going through my phone and found this old pic of us”. Reminding them of a particularly fond memory.
“LOL. You won’t be able to stop laughing after watching this” Sending a funny video—or post.
You can even play games over text and video-call—just to keep the fun!
At this point, you should know that anything that is going to survive this harsh world takes time. If you really want to reconnect, you should be willing to pay the sacrifice for it—not just visiting occasionally.
If the person does not live around the corner, the onus is on you to text, call, and chat regularly. Now, I’m not saying you should be a psycho-stalker, No! That’s where the motive comes in. As a sincere friend, you should respect boundaries, never criticize destructively, nor devalue the person of your friend.
Never Force It.
Your lifelong friends will always be there for you. If for any reason, life forces you to be apart, or away from each other for some time, getting together will, and should not be a struggle. If you don’t find them, they will find you—because you have each other in mind. What I’m trying to say is, if you find out that it’s difficult to converse, or reconnect with someone, don’t force it. It’s easier—and advisable—to let them go.
In my opinion, we often do not know the value of what we have, not until we lose it. Don’t get to that point of losing your friend before you know his/her value. Treat your friend like the most valuable person in the world. True, sincere, and lifelong friends are the family you get to choose.
Everything that happens between the two of you depends greatly on your initial interaction…