I could remember sometime this year when my partner asked for space. So many thoughts were going through my mind and I had a lot of questions that needed answers. Questions like: why would she ask for space? Does she even love me? Is she preparing me for a breakup?
I asked a lot of my friends for advice because I didn’t know what to do. They all said “Brother, that’s a bad sign”. I became scared because I don’t want to lose her at all.
Anytime I asked her why she needs space, she would say nothing. I started to doubt her. At a point I thought maybe she was seeing someone else and the love she once had for me was starting to fade. I was completely wrong! And trust me, those thinking didn’t do me any good emotionally.
A lot of people like YOU reading this post feel the same way when this happens. You probably would have those questions running through your mind, especially when you love her wholeheartedly. You’re scared you might lose her right?
Good news is that I have come up with 3 things you should do when this happens. I tried them and they worked superbly. Let’s see you try them too shall we?
1. Don’t communicate with her in anyway
The first thing I decided to do was to not call, text or initiate communication with her in any way. A lot might be saying this could be very harmful in terms of communicating with each other after all is over. But you also have to understand something, when a girl says she needs space, she doesn’t necessarily mean she’s breaking up with you soon. That’s the biggest mistake we guys make. She could be going through something and she needs time on her own to figure things out herself. Try not to ask her why because she would keep saying nothing. Remember, you’re not responsible for her happiness – she chooses to be! You can only try to make her happy. The best thing you can do for her is to respect her decision and let her be.
Another reason she could need space it’s the fact that you two have become overbearing of each other. The intimacy between you two is too much that she feels she needs a break. She’s scared she might lose that affection for you because you’ve made yourself too available for her every time. The best you can do for her is to let her be!
The first rule you’ve got to abide by is to not communicate with her in any way. Trust me it would work, because if she truly feels for you, she would want you back in no time. I did it and it worked( it was hard though) and she called back in three days. Different thoughts like “is he okay without me?”, ” how’s he doing?”, “I want to hear him speak, should I call him?” would start running through her mind. Let her initiate the contact herself!
2. Take your time to explore the relationship
What this simply means is that, you take time to reflect on YOUR shortcomings in the relationship. What were the things you’re doing wrong in the relationship that could have led her to thinking of space?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to say you should get engrossed with thinking of the earlier stated questions that could be running through your mind – no! What I simply mean is that this would give you a clue as to where you would need to work on yourself more. Take your time and dissect the relationship and see where you are lacking – she would love you more!
3. Work on yourself
This is the best thing you can do for yourself during this period. It takes your mind off it and never gives you a chance to think about it.
What are the goals you’ve set for yourself and you haven’t gotten a chance to take a single step? This is the time for you to get busy. Do anything that would make you get your mind off it. Things like: hanging out with friends, working on projects, learning something new and exciting, and so on.
A very good example: I had always had the zeal to learn content marketing. This was a topic I found interesting, but I never got a chance to even start. Not to say that she was holding me back – no, I just needed that to get the thinking out of my head. When she asked for space, I decided to go on with it and I must say, I haven’t had any cause for regrets.
Get productive! Get yourself involved. Believe me, you would appreciate yourself more.
I’m pretty sure with these tips, you would be doing not just yourself a huge favour, but your relationship life as well.
I know one or two things could still be running through your mind…huh? Drop your thoughts or questions in the comment section below and please share with your loved ones – you might just be helping a friend!