Have you ever been with a group of people at a social gathering and just knew that you were not doing something right? Maybe even with a person and everything just seems to get awkward as the seconds pass into minutes…
Well, fortunately (or unfortunately) for you, ignorance is not an excuse which is why I’ve put together these 6 golden rules of socializing you should never break—either you’re at an outing, or even meeting new people. Stick with me.
1. If you come With a Company of People, Don’t Leave Them for Any Other Company.
Especially if you know that you will communicate with them later, or be leaving with them. It’s just plain wrong. Even though it probably doesn’t seem like a “big deal”, leaving the company you came with destroys the connection between you and the others and sticks to the memory of the group.
2. Look People in the Eyes when Getting Acquainted with Them.
Too many people are fond of staring at the hands during a handshake, so often that it has become a reflex, unconscious action. It’s, like, so wrong. The proper thing is to offer your hand while looking the other person in the eye. It shows confidence and builds trust.
Also, please try to remember people’s names. We’re tired of hearing the BS phrase, “I’m bad at remembering names”. Believe me; you’re only as bad as you convince yourself to be. Make that change today.
3. Use Names a Lot.
During conversation and especially when asking questions, make sure you use the other person’s name a lot (well not too much that it starts looking bizarre, but you get my point.) Sincerely, it’s a win-win for you in all areas: first, people love hearing their names (uh-uh), so it totally endears you to them when they hear it. Plus, you will also remember their names much easier. (That’s a subtle hint for those who still think they’re bad at remembering names.)
4. Ask Open Questions.
To never run out of topics, don’t ask too many Yes/No questions. People love to speak about themselves, so use that little hint for conquering the title of a great interlocutor. This also works both ways; when you’re asked an open ended question, endeavor to switch the attention back by a simple, “What about you?” later.
Develop the topic, get into some aspects of a previous question, refer to the previous words of a person and you will never run out of any questions.
5. Know The Borders (As Well As) Taboos of Communication.
Have your limitations and stick to them. Do not be too adaptable, because sooner or later, your uneasiness with some topics will eventually reveal itself. Take care to discuss topics concerning politics, religion, sexual life and family problems too. Don’t worry, I trust you to use your discretion #wink.
6. Most Importantly…Interest!
Last but not least, if you want to feel good and be an integral part of a community or relationship, find the one that fits you and in which you’re really interested. Interest alone will make you engage all the needed tools for a smooth and great communication.
If you’re not interested in a person or a set of company, you should not force yourself to keep in touch with them.
Also, faking interest is disgusting, same with ulterior motives and greedy intentions. Your motivation will always reveal itself regardless of how good an actor you are. The best thing is to be sincere.
Follow these golden rules, and thank me later for upgrading, enlightening and fun socialization.