A must read for anyone who wants to get married…
There are several misconceptions out there about “true” love. The media, our friends, and sometimes, even we, have led ourselves to believe quite a number of “love myths”: love is that feeling of butterflies you have when you see someone, love is that moment you feel like that other person makes you complete, love is being smitten, googly-eyed and happy forever—and so on.
However, even though I cannot completely put out these ideas as fictional and untrue, there’s still a lot more to love than these. As Touré Roberts and Sarah Jakes talk through and answer questions about the initial “rough” stages of their relationship on Love, Purpose, Relationships and Destiny; I’ve put together some of the greatest advice I’ve ever gotten on the subject of Real Love. Stay with me.
How Can I Serve You?
Sacrifice. Service. Giving.
Just a few nouns to give you an idea about what love really entails. To be honest, if you go into a relationship with a “what-can-I-get-out-of-this” attitude, you may never come out of the relationship with anything good—because you have laid the groundwork for selfishness.
With selfishness comes entitlement: you start thinking the other person owes you something, you begin to be demanding and self-centred. That’s not a good mind-set to take into a relationship. Giving may not be out of love, but love is incomplete without giving. After all, “For God so loved the world, that he gave…”
Accordingly, when you enter a relationship, one sign of real love is that truly irreplaceable attitude of service. Of sacrifice—and of giving
Are You Vulnerable Enough?
Are You Vulnerable Enough?
One side of true love, which we do not often talk about, is the ability to bring out who you really are—warts and all. When you love someone, you express your goals, your dreams, and your fears, to them. So we begin to be scared of opening up, so the other person does not think we’re weird, and run away.
The truth remains that we have to start dealing with ourselves from now. We have to go to God and let Him show us who we are and deal with who we are not. Only then, can we share our “truth” with the person who is the will of God for us.
However, this doesn’t enforce you to be a perfect, flawless being. Far from it! It only implies that you’re a work-in-progress, and your significant other should be willing to walk down that road until you become that finished product that is worth it.
When you love, you give the person the power to hurt, and distract you. Hence, the popular slogan “I can’t stop thinking about you” is actually true. So also, the fact that your significant other can choose to hurt you with the information you give.
So, yes. Love is also about vulnerability.
Do You Still Have Fears?
There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear…
1 John 4:18 MSB
You heard that right. You should not have any fears when it comes to love. You should be able to share all your fears with your other and trust that the two of you can really come together to face them, and defeat them.
The human mind can really be pessimistic at times: “Is he really the one?” “Could she be using me to get to my money?” and so on and so forth. There will be times that you feel as though you should get out—not because of any threat, but because it is your fears speaking. That’s where God comes in, and why He is so important in a relationship. He is love, and so He has his ways of banishing and expelling any form of fear in a relationship that is formed in Him.
So, yes again. Real love, real real love, chases away fear.
There are still so many more great pieces of advice—but time and space will not allow me to continue.
If you gained something from this article, and would like to know more, all you have to do is tell me in the comments section below!