CONSENT

The Oxford dictionary defines consent as “the permission for something to happen or agreement to do something”. It further implies that one must give permission for something to happen. There are various instances where consent is needed. From borrowing your roommates charger to using his body spray to turning her garri to collecting some money from your mother’s purse to driving out one of your dad’s cars down to having sex with your partner.

Consent in a relationship is very important. Yes, we know you both are dating and have been for over a year now, yes we know you have seen her father and have met his mother, we also know the pastor has approved of your courting but still despite all these it isn’t enough reason you should do things without the permission of your partner. Even when you both eventually get married and have settled down. Consent is still required in every aspect of your relationship.

Consent in sex is required before and during sex. It’s not enough that she strip teases whilst taking off her bra or raises her hips when you’re pulling off her panties or more explicitly helps you wear the condom. Humans are made up of emotions and that is what makes us who and what we are and as a result we are subjected to mood swings every now and then. Now, she can do all of these pre-sexual intercourse teasing and still lose interest while you’re pounding away. Yes, it is very possible, sometimes our bodies may decide to disappoint us by losing interest and just get turned off by either drying up or any other funny way it chooses to display it’s power, these things happen all the time.

Now when these things happen, she may most likely tell you to stop that she is no longer in the mood or that she isn’t feeling the whole thingy any longer, you as the guy are in cloud 9 and can not just afford to come down to planet earth, you’re trying to coax her into getting back into the mood but she’s not having any of it and the more you’re persuading her, the more she’s getting irritated and sore, if tomorrow she goes out to tell the world you raped her, she’s justified. Why? She withdrew consent in the midst of action.

It’s also possible that while you both were going at it hot hot, the Holy Spirit ministered unto her that what she’s doing is wrong or her mind wanders to an unpleasant situation or scenario and as a human the urge dies down. Her countenance changes, you notice and ask what’s wrong, she tells you she no longer feels like it, it is required of you to respect her wishes and discontinue, it is not the time to increase your pace or cajole her into allowing you cum first or any of the other tricks in your head.

Consent also applies to the male gender as well, ladies, it is not enough that he instigates you guys going down or had given you mad foreplay and you’re all juiced up and ready to go, if at some point he says he’s no longer interested, you should understand and let him be. You shouldn’t try to tease him or beg or cry or play tantrums or even threaten to call the neighbours and falsely accuse him, it’s 2020, we are going to respect people’s wishes, stop is stop.

Sex without consent is rape, a criminal offence punishable by law. You do not want to soil your life, integrity, reputation and career by just few minutes of pleasure. It is totally not worth it. In conclusion, always seek for consent before sex and during sex, if at any point your partner opens up to you that they no longer want in, please respect them and stop.