unrequited love

If you have never loved someone who didn’t love you back, then this post isn’t for you. But if you have, at some point in your life, whether high school, uni days or even primary school, then gather around let’s wail together. Basically, unrequited love cuts across all ages.

What is unrequited love?

Also called one-sided love, in simple English, it’s loving someone who does not love you back, having strong painful feelings for someone who barely notices your existence or genuinely doesn’t feel the same way. You may wonder why I called it painful, I’m going to explain this for the sake of those who have only heard of this terminology but have had literally no experience whatsoever.

Loving someone already requires huge amounts of energy, now this energy is worth it when that love is reciprocated. Now imagine investing so much energy into this particular someone with the hopes they feel the same way but then, unfortunately, it isn’t reciprocated, tragic right? Yes, that is why it is painful.

Unrequited love also occurs in relationships. You may wonder how is it possible for unrequited love to exist in a relationship.  Thing is if we are being sincere, most relationships we see today do not hold water. Going through different reasons people say yes, you would find out why unrequited love is present in relationships.

An unhappy couple

During this very painful phase of your life, you do everything in your power to pretend they do not matter to you or that you are over them, or even for the more desperate ones, make them see reasons why you are the best thing after sliced bread. But the heart will always want what it wants and if you aren’t their hearts’ desire then all your efforts are most likely going to be futile.

You want to get over them? Different ways to deal with unrequited love

  1. They most likely will never love you back, at least to the extent you want. Accepting this statement is the first step to freedom.
  2. Let them go. You are literally exhausting yourself by investing your time and energy into something that has no rewards, so why continue?
  3. Keep your distance. If you know he/she frequents this particular restaurant then for the time being stay clear from there. Go to the next restaurant or just sit in your house and cook.
  4. Distract yourself physically and mentally. You could decide to take on a tasking volunteering position or a part-time job. From past experiences, this always works.
  5. Love yourself enough to know you deserve better. Self-love is a thing, guys. Put yourself first, put your feelings first. Put your mental and emotional health on the table, and give yourself some hard, real talk. Tell yourself the plain truth, they can never be yours, when you come to terms with this, it makes it easier to get over them.

Not reciprocating your feelings doesn’t make them a bad person. They might have someone already, or maybe going through something of their own or just plainly aren’t interested, it still doesn’t make them a terrible person. Everyone is entitled to love who they want and if you aren’t who they want then so be it.


  1. I needed this post some years back lol, anyway I feel things like this should be popularised cos it can be toxic and I feel its something really under the radar of amorous relationships with people.

    For the self love part, I just feel the love goes hand in hand with self realization(in one of its highest form{choice}), cos there’s so many talk about it these days its cliche now with no meaning. I feel its for the recovering tragic tho(in a nutshell)

    My 2Kobo

  2. This is a very useful piece of information. This things happen in so called relationships and people stay in them for some reasons, thank you for spreading the word.

  3. Nice write up. I think every one has dealt with unrequited love at a point in the lives. It drains you and lowers self esteem. It’s totally not worth it.

  4. Beautiful and informative piece, I have personally resorted to the second option of dealing with unrequited love as stated a couple of times. This sure comes in handy

  5. I was once a Victim. It was so hard. But it’s the best thing to do.
    There’s an annoyance you cause the person for every attempt you make to work your way into their life after they’ve made it clear they don’t want you.
    For the love of ‘you’, walk away

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