In my days, I have seen women with solely female children cry way more than women that are childless. I have seen them pray fervently for a child as if they were yet to bear any fruit. At a point in my life, I felt jealous of just how high and low people would go just to birth a boy. 

I often notice the difference in excitement when it is announced that a woman gave birth to a boy, from when the child is female. The cheers were louder and more hearty for the male child.

A woman with two boys feels secure and might choose never to give birth again. However, a woman with eight girls will most likely try again, all to get a boy. Do you blame such women?  No, I don’t. I have seen cases of a man abandoning his wife for a mistress because she didn’t birth a boy. This is actually quite common in the eastern part of Nigeria.

Nevertheless, as I grew older, I stopped being jealous of the male child. There is a perception mostly in Nigeria homes that a household is never truly complete without the presence of a male child. However, what happens when that “Golden boy”  finally arrives? They are unconsciously neglected.

You probably will be wondering HOW? Well, I will explain.

How is The Male Child Unconsciously Neglected?

More Attention is Given to the Upbringing of the Female Child.

Obviously, there are exceptions in certain families. However, commonly more attention is given to the upbringing of the female child. She is told how to sit, how to dress, do chores, prepare herself for marital life, etc. She is the one most given the “Keep your Virginity Conversation.” 

When she is stuck in the kitchen helping for dinner, the male child is left hanging on the street unwatched. He joins gangs, and even becomes a cultist unknowing to his parents.

I used to think the attention given to girls was a punishment, but I grew up to feel blessed. If the same attention was given to boys, then the agenda of preserving one’s virginity until marriage would be visible. After all, it takes two to tangle. Rape cases, cultism, and lots more would be less. 

This is indeed negligence on the part of parents.

The Emotional Negligence of the Male Child.

The male child’s emotions are neglected. They are told men don’t cry, so they bottle up their true feelings. A man that is expressive of his woes is tagged as a “Woman.” The one that goes out of his way to show care for his woman is tagged by society as a “Woman Wrapper.”

They say real men are not vocal, yet they wonder why during a verbal exchange between a woman they opt for their hands leading to violence against womem. This mentality must be changed. The male child grows up thinking that suppressing his emotions is the way to go, so he needlessly acts strong. No wonder, the percentage of suicide victims are mostly men.

When a man’s butt is tapped without his approval it is fine. In fact, if he expresses his displeasure he is nothing taken seriously. However, if he does the same to a woman it is considered harassment. 

This is indeed sad. Little wonder most molested boys rarely talk about it. This has an adverse effect on society, because hurt people, hurt people.

Negligence of the Burden Placed on Men.

They say uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. The male is tagged as a provider. They cannot just relax and be taken care of. They are bound to toil and provide for the family. It is okay for them to receive boxers and singlets repeatedly for their birthdays, but they are obliged to get expensive gifts for their women. 

The male child grows up with the pressure that as a man he must provide for his family. Little wonder they get involved in all sorts of shady stuff to soar above these expectations.

Seriously, there is a need to do more as regards the upbringing of a male child. It is disheartening that it was just this year the Nigerian law recognized that men could also be victims of rape. We need to stop the unconscious negligence of the male child to have a better society.

The energy people into having a male child, should also be put into raising them!



  1. This is a beautiful post! I just hope and pray we the future parents treat our sons the same way we treat out daughters.

  2. Nice post…..male children should be given undivided attention and should be raised equally with the females. There are a lot of damaged men in the society today just because of this negligence.I hope the next generation of parents do better.

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