4 Common Attitudes You Must Unlearn

Do you subscribe or make use of the statement, “Men Are Scum?” Are you one of those that chant “Women will disgrace you?” Are you quick to pass judgment and pronounce people guilty without evidence or a court judgment? Are your opinions based on gender lines or identity? Are you a Nigerian? Are you human? 

If any of the above can be applied to you then this article is meant for your consumption.

A careful observation of social media and daily life occurrences has brought to my consciousness four (4) bad but incredibly common actions people need to unlearn. These actions are all shades of wrong and should be discontinued.  

1.   Ignorant Usage of Expressions.

A host of individuals throw words around without considering the implications, and this attitude is frankly unintelligent and should be unlearned. 

Words have weight and should never be thrown around lightly. A good instance, is the common expression, “Men are Scum” or “Women will disgrace you.” I often observe that when people use these mean expressions and get responses such as, “Including your father” or “Your mother is a disgrace, ” they pick offense. Please what is there to pick offense when you were the first to insult your parents alongside all members of their gender?

If you still don’t discern how such expressions rub off wrongly on your loved ones, these syllogisms will make it clear.

Example 1:

Men are scum,

Your father is a man,

Therefore, your father is a scum.

Example 2:

Women are stupid

Your mother/wife/sister/ are women

Therefore, they are stupid.

Also, desist from making statements such as, “Do you know me.” It is repulsive when people make such utterances, especially to strangers. 

You might think you are as sleek as Jack Bauer, but the next person might be like John Wick. Therefore, don’t throw words around when talking to strangers, so you don’t end up burning a bridge you will be needing someday.

When next you want to make a statement think it through, or your case will be likened to a man that threw a stone at the marketplace but ended up hitting one of his own.

2. Insulting People Over Their Contrary View.

Mr. A: “This Buhari led administration has done absolutely nothing for Nigerians.”

Mr. B: “Though the Buhari led administration did not meet up to expectations, I don’t agree with you saying they did absolutely nothing. They introduced N-power, and started the construction of the river Niger bridge.”

Mr. A: (In response to Mr. B) “You are stupid and shallow-minded for thinking that way. In fact, you are a goat! You will die wretched in this zoo of a country.”

I’m sure you must have seen countless instances of the above example, in which as opposed to intelligently debating their stance, people choose to rain insults at those with contrary opinions. This attitude reek of sheer ignorance and should be discontinued. It further limits our ability to learn, and see things from different perspectives.

3. Rushing Into Conclusion.

This is another flawed mentality we need to run from. Unlearn the attitude of passing judgment without hearing from both parties.

Lately, anyone can cook up any story on the internet and get supporters. It’s crazy to see people act as both judge, jury, and executioner without substantial evidence.

When you act in this manner you are most likely to stigmatize innocent people and might end up looking stupid when the evidence against your stance is later provided.

Learn the attitude of suspending judgment until you hear from both parties and carefully examine provided evidences.

4. Gender-Based Opinions.

Before being male or female we are firstly humans. We all have loved ones from both genders, therefore, gender sentiment should not be the basis of your opinions. In fact, when you do this you are displaying the tenet of either misogyny or misandry.

For instance, when a woman is raped, assaulted, or become a victim of domestic violence it is widely condemned. This is right, however, the same energy should be applied when a man experiences such. 

I remember reading a blog post on Instagram, in which a young man was poured hot water by his suspicious girlfriend. I went through the comment section and saw a host of ladies justifying her cruelty. If the tables were turned, their responses would have differed. 

Gender-based opinions will not bring an egalitarian society, rather it will deepen the divide between both genders. Frankly, when we fight, we all lose.

Final Thoughts:

Learning ends the day we die, and a great way to learn something new is to unlearn a previous stance. If you are guilty of any of the above, or you know people who are, today is a great day to unlearn.