The Atheist and the Preacher (An Interview)

Times and times again, the preacher’s words echoed in my heart. How he confidently spoke of life after death, one he has never experienced, reminded me of broke fellows that would give unsolicited advice to others on how to make money. I find such ironic situations to be amusing, and I live for exposing the flaws of big talkers. I can feel my belly ringing around in anticipation and I look forward to satisfying my burning desire for a good time by playing with the renowned preacher.

If you are judgemental of my intentions, please save it. I have been branded the devil’s advocate, a title I embraced wholeheartedly and I have come to immensely enjoy. Honestly, if the concept of heaven and hell turned out to be anything more than a fraudulent joke, I would gladly opt for hell. Heaven will be so peaceful it will be a bore. In hell, I could dare the devil to duel over his throne, I think I would make an interesting devil, and that sounds like so much more fun than the idea of being drugged to eternal happiness. I am the kind of person that would take pain over the illusion of being forever happy.

Today I have an interview with a renowned preacher, and I am looking forward to nailing him on a tree. I shall be Pontius Pilate today, though I plan to be more daring and get the job done while wearing a smile.

The Interview

The preacher wearing a wide smile came to the lounge and invited me into his office. He apologized keenly for keeping me waiting. I smiled back wickedly because, from his behaviour, I could tell that he was oblivious of what was about to hit him. It felt like I was on a hunt about to bounce on my prey without warning, my belly danced. My thoughts and questions were set, and I look forward to the thrill.

(We both walk into his office and got seated facing one another).

Preacher: I am delighted to have you here Mr Mack. Your reputation as an unmistakable atheist has been of great interest to me. I heard you are blunt in words and your tongue stays sharp. Your opinions are twisted but your convictions remain unwavering. I look forward to this duel because you don’t interview people to obtain their thoughts but to break them. You have done this excellently until now, but I have a feeling that today will be different.

Mack: (Wearing a wicked smile) You did your research, I am impressed. It is a relief to know you might be a worthy contender. No need for small talk, so I will just dive into it. Rev. Jude, will you disagree if I say the greatest skill of a successful preacher is the ability to appear knowledgeable though ignorant? To speak on things you know nothing about to gullible people who are unaware of your ignorance. Don’t you agree?

Preacher: (calmly) No, I do not agree.

Mack: Really? I guess you should add liar to your bio because you are denying that which you did today in my very own presence. I took the pain of attending your church and listening to you preach. During service, you spoke about life after death. Frankly, only those who have died know what comes after death. Only the dead can be an authority in that conversation, but today, you sold all sort of tales to your congregation concerning a matter you know nothing about.

Preacher: (Biting his tongue to stop himself from laughing)…

To be Continued