3 things Men Must Learn – An excerpt from BBN.

3 things Men Must Learn – An excerpt from BBN.

When you view Big Brother Naija from the perspective of a social experiment, you will learn and unlearn.

A lot has taken place in the house. Housemates have given us reasons to laugh, scream, cry, get emotional, or even angry. There are days I want to throw my phone at a housemate but I know I will simply damage my television. Nevertheless, I have learned and I am here to share.

An observation from all the love triangles in the house, and the manner with which the boys handle rejection, I think there is a need to work on our emotional intelligence.

Frankly, it seems we spend time learning in school, getting good grades, chasing a career but failing to pay attention to our emotional intelligence. This is so sad, that it has made the one celebrated as an Aristotle (Laycon) appear far from being smart. Even the first-class graduate Ozo, and the royalty Prince are all failing woefully in this regard.

Lessons to be Learned.

Though I will be paying focus to the men in the house, kindly note the females are guilty too.

Respect People’s Response to Your Love Interest.

Everyone is entitled to love who they love. Be free in expressing yourself, but respect the other person’s stance. If he/she is uninterested, free them.

Erica has told Laycon she is with Kiddwaya, their relationship is clear to the blind and loud to the deaf, but he is finding it hard to let go. The fella is adding pressure as poorly advised by Brighto. Sadly, this is resulting in him hurting himself and his game. 

I know it is hard to accept rejection, especially when your feelings are genuine. However, not respecting the other person’s feelings makes you look desperate and reduces your self worth especially if they have a love interest. Never let anyone make you look obsessed or desperate. Take your L and move on.

The phrase, “the heart wants what it wants” is not an excuse to make a fool out of your intelligent self. Nengi has told Prince that she can’t date him, and he isn’t her spec, yet baba is still interested. Thank God he is beginning to spark things with Tolanibaj.

Obviously, we are humans and not robots. Though we can’t just switch off our emotions, we should be willing to accept reality without living in denial. Accepting reality is the first step to healing.

Dear men, if she glaring says no, especially when she has a man, then quit pushing. It is not attractive. Have self-worth, you are kings. You are also a catch to someone out there. Know this and know peace.

Respect Boundaries.

Two people from the opposite gender can be friends. Dear men, stop mistaking a lady’s niceness or extended hand of friendship as a sign of love, or interest in you!

Not all friendships must lead to a relationship. Sometimes all she wants is friendship. If you can’t give her that, walk away. Quit feeling entitled to people’s love. You chose to love them, they are free to choose to love who they want. Pay attention to boundaries and ensure to respect them.

If it hurts too much, cut them off. Just as she doesn’t owe you love from an end, you don’t owe her friendship. It is fine to go back to being strangers. You must not be the shoulder she cries on. 

Have a Mind of Your Own.

They say a problem shared is a problem solved. This however doesn’t justify telling every single person of your life dilemma. Be mindful of who you take counsel from, and ensure to mentally filter every advice you get and stick to the best.

Final Thoughts.

Love is not supposed to be hard, life is already hard. Wear your heart on your sleeves, but if it doesn’t work out, kindly tuck it in. I know it’s not easy that is why you must love yourself more, so that if anything is hurting you, you will quickly pull out.

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