Relationship! Relationship! Relationship!
Lately, it feels like everyone has a thing to say as regards relationships. Can they be blamed? I once opined that the whole relationship talk was a bit too rampant, but after reading some heartbreak stories yesterday, my perception changed. More needs to be said concerning our attitude toward relationships. Our attitudes towards relationships must change for us to achieve positive results.
Today, I shall concern myself with some mediocre thoughts concerning relationships.
The Action Called Sex
Abstaining from sex is ideal but I am not here to talk about what ought to be, rather, I am more concerned with what is widely visible. Sex has been successfully infused as a regular feature of a relationship. Nevertheless, some still venture into having sex while dating with mediocre perceptions that lead to issues. What are these perceptions? Ridiculously, there are many but I will address a handful of them.
Men and Sex
To most men, having sex with a lady while dating equates to conquering her. So after having sexual intercourse for a while, they get bored and desire a new conquest. In their mediocre thought pattern, they feel they gained and the lady lost. With a perception of this sort, it becomes difficult to have and maintain a meaningful relationship.
Dear brothers, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but sleeping with a lady does not equate to conquering her.
- Her body count increases and so does yours.
- You are both defying your temples of the Holy Spirit.
- You are both eligible to have STDs.
- If she gets pregnant, fatherhood will change the course of your life.
- The pleasure goes both ways. She is having as much fun as you.
So how in the name of all that is good and true are you the conqueror and she your prey?
Dear men, peer into your perception logically and you will see the flaws and dangers of living with such mediocre convictions.
To the ladies reading this piece, if you are wearing a smile I hope it doesn’t fade as I proceed to spew some mediocre perception of some women as regards having sex in a relationship.
Sex and Women
“He slept with me and now he wants to leave me? John after giving you my body you left me for another woman?”
I get embarrassed when I see women wail like this. Please sex is a two-way thing. It takes two to tangle so quit the victim mentality.
Some ladies opined that by giving a man sex in a relationship, they have given him their whole, therefore they expect the world from his end and become sickeningly entitled. If you feel by giving him sex you are doing too much then abstain. Hence, you will feel like thrash if the relationship goes bad.
Furthermore, there is a little difference between you and a sex worker if you demand money and other material gains because you and your partner involve in consensual sex. Dear sister, with a thought pattern of this nature, the only difference between you and a hooker is that you maintain a single client. To have self-respect in a relationship, it is important to break free from such a mentality.
When you have sex in a relationship with such mediocre thoughts will then you are bound to hurt people and get hurt yourself.
Read More: An Exploration of the African Family.