Previously, I had talked about what men really want, if you missed that, click here to catch up with us.
Most men complain of how they can never understand a woman and how difficult we can be sometimes. But is this really the case? Women are as peaceful and understanding as a new born baby.
Now, I know you may disagree and hiss but let’s look at it from this angle: a woman doesn’t really need much, we are not as difficult as the media – which comprises of mostly men – paint us. I’m sure my fellow women agree with me. You want to know what we really want right? Follow me!
Most women crave, breathe, eat, drink attention. You can not say you love me and then abandon me for several hours or even go days without talking to me. Then what exactly are we doing? You do not have to be physically present but at least let your presence be felt. The good morning messages, surprise visits, the unexpected dates, getting her a beautiful gift when you travel or go shopping for yourself, no don’t hiss, if you have a problem doing any of this, then maybe you should remain single, good night messages or preferably calls. These little things mean a lot. Every woman wants to be spoiled, babied, pampered, taken care of. If the woman in your life despises all of this, then it’s two things,
i) It is either she isn’t the one for you.
ii) She’s just acting tough on the surface and is really just a jelly jam on the inside.
It shows you have us in your mind and that always goes a long way.
Women need to know that their secret is safe with you. We also need to know that whatever you say is the truth and nothing but the truth. A lot of us have skeletons in our cupboards, we have done things in the past that we aren’t proud and the fact still remains that sometimes people change. I am not the girl I was 10 years ago. So now if I trust you enough to tell you about my past then you should trust me enough to not treat me in a condescending manner or use it against me at every little chance you get.
Personally, I have had experiences with different people, I have told some persons my past and it was the beginning of an end to a friendship and I have also told some other persons my past and it cemented our friendship. No woman wants to be with man who rubs her past on her the first chance he gets. If you are that man, stop it!
3. Emotional Support/Intelligence:
Maybe it is the way most men are wired and brought up but I have discovered that a large percentage either do not know how to show their emotions or plainly don’t have any. Take for example, I tell you I had a bad day and I have written an epistle on how terrible my day started, the people or things that made it worse, how I still am in a big mess and am yet to resolve it and how I just want the ground to swallow me, and all you as the guy say is “eiyah, sorry dear” or “awwwnn, I’m really sorry you had a bad day” and then go ahead to talk about your own day or how hungry you are or how you want to go buy fuel. Annoying right?
I am very sure most women have experienced this at least once. This is just one out of the million ways some guys act. And truthfully, this is crap. If I tell you about something personal to me or open up to you and expose my vulnerabilities, I need to get overflooded with emotions, I need you to gas me up, threaten fire and brimstone on whoever made your baby girl feel bad, do everything figuratively and – also literally, if possible – in your power to make me feel better not just tell me “you’ll be fine”. The next guy can tell me that but not You!
Active listening is a soft skill. There is a big difference between hearing and listening. You could be in a bus with music jamming from all corners of the bus but you are busy on your phone and you really do not pay any attention to what is being played – that is hearing. On the other hand, I could have gone window shopping at GUE and saw two clothings I like, a pink pant and a purple scarf – if in 2 weeks, you see me on this same outfit I described to you and you say something like “Oh, you went back to GUE to pick up these stuffs, cool”, I know you were listening. “These pants look new, did you just buy them?” – you definitely were not listening.
Communication is a large broad topic, but you and your partner should know what works for you both, stick to it and improve when the need arises.
5. Cuddles, hugs, food:
You know how some days you just want to sink into your shell and wish never to see the sun again? Days like this what we just want is a long hug and food for the foodies like me and a warm cuddle.
In summary, every woman is different. Understanding what works for her is key. Because Faith liked it when you show up to her house unannounced does not mean that Halima will. Or because Folake wanted you guys to go out more doesn’t mean Amanda will.
Leave your comments below, I’d love to hear what you think!